‘Ojukwu was irredeemably romantic’

Prosper

In this concluding part of the riveting Bianca Ojukwu interview (I was told Sunday Vanguard, last week, sold out – because of the second part and that it was difficult  for people to get copies) and, as the events marking the fourth anniversary of the passing of Dim Emeka Ojukwu, the Ikemba Nnewi, get underway, this week, with lectures and other festivities, leading to a grand finale on December 10, we pray for the continuous repose of his life, there is no better way to celebrate  his memory  than a story of love, passion and companionship as told  here  by his widow, Bianca.

What manner of a lover was your late husband, Dim Emeka Ojukwu  ?

He was extremely romantic; to him, companionship was extremely important. He loved to go to the theatre, to the opera; he loved classical music, and he always insisted on us going together. A lot of our evenings we spent on our patio, having tea and brandy and playing scrabble. Essentially, he was rooted in companionship. He always wanted to do things in a romantically dramatic manner. For instance, he never replicated any gift for the years we spent together; he always gave me a different gift each time we celebrated our anniversary. He would choose the gift himself and, if it meant traveling to procure it, he would do so; he could never bear to see me look miserable.

Latwe Ojukwu and wife, Bianca

If I ever was upset about anything, he would tell me,’come let me drive you around’. I would protest by saying that he had been driven by drivers all his life and that he shouldn’t do it. He would tell me he wanted to do it, make all the mistakes and have me tell him he was a bad driver. He just wanted us to be together, make me laugh, because he didn’t want me to wear a sad face.

He would sometimes arrange a vacation for us abroad, and he would pick ice cream on the street- just mundane things- he was an incredibly romantic person. He would come into my bedroom, for instance, if we were planning to go to an occasion and I would tell him to leave, that he was distracting me. And he would tell me, ‘Well, I can help you tie your headscarf, at least, I used to help my mother tie her’s’. And, of course, you knew he couldn’t, and he would come and try and fail, and we would laugh about it- I mean he was an extraordinarily romantic man.

His greatest charm really was his ability to make you laugh, to bring hope in an otherwise abysmal situation. He told so many jokes, sang so many ridiculous boyhood songs, but he was so charitable, he was so plain in a way that was childlike. But when a situation that demanded action came up, he would assume a different persona, the transformation was amazing- he was able to dominate his environment. One other thing I found very intriguing about him was that he was totally and absolutely fearless.

He would be in a panic-inducing situation that would otherwise have rattled others, but he would remain calm and steely. He was always very rational. His presence was very reassuring. I could travel with dozens of policemen in a car, and I would still feel insecure, without him by my side. We on two occasions encountered armed robbers, and when they recognized he was the one, they saluted him, and used their vehicles to escort him to the house- he was that loved and adored. He was an amazing man.

Can any man ever fill the role he played in your life?

No, he gave me the best 23 years of my life and I have always said that any woman blessed to be with him for, let’s say two years, should consider herself lucky. And so, for me to have been lucky to have had him for those years, I think I am truly blessed and I am not looking for any replacement.

What’s your advice to younger women who may be in a situation you found yourself?

Situations are different. You may marry your contemporary and it lasts for six months or less. So, everything depends on how you handle your situation. You were there when my affair with my late husband started, and I knew I had found love, and was not bothered what the society thought about us, and I am glad I did. Given the same scenario, I will marry  the same man hundred percent.

Essentially, once you get over the initial trauma, you develop a thick skin, your skin becomes like a turtle back, and I went through that induction process in my early twenties; everything else was a breeze. God gave me the best man any woman could ever hope for, and I will continue to celebrate and treasure those amazing 23 years that we were together.

Next week: Explosive details on why top actress Ini Edo’s marriage collapsed.

- See more at: http://www.vanguardngr.com/2014/11/ojukwu-irredeemably-romantic/#sthash.lquH2Mms.dpuf